Tuners with stetsons

tuna · Post by **tuna** » 25 Sep 2007, 21:06

There is a long established Piano Tuner living near me, who I think could be a bit of a cowboy.

I have heard that on several occasions, when arriving at a new customers house, he enquires as to who plays the piano, and what standard they are at.

If they are a beginner, he often doesn't bother tuning the bottom octave and the top octave and a half as 'they won't be using those notes anyway'!!

He has actually told customers this if they have queried with him why he hasn't tuned the whole piano.

My question is this, Is this a common occurance amongst piano tuners? Or do you have even better tales of John Waynesque piano tuners?

Look forward to some interesting ones!

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 25 Sep 2007, 23:02

How about the old feller who tells his clients not to play for 24hrs after the tuning to let it "settle in" ...... By which time he's well out of the area to receive complaints?

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 26 Sep 2007, 18:25

Some years ago, I acquired a new client when her old tuner went to live in Florida. As I chatted to her, I opened the top of the piano and then started to take the top door off. "What are you doing?!" she said, worried.
"Um...taking this bit off so's I can tune it."
"Our last tuner never needed to do that," she said, suspiciously. She let me carry on, despite her evident misgivings over this stupid girl who couldn't tune a piano with the front on, and went to make a cup of tea, which she brought in, then left me. Twenty minutes later, a worried face appeared round the door. "Still here?"
"Er, yes."
"Gosh, it MUST be bad!" (Last 'tuned' 6 months ago, and the treble a quarter of a tone flatter than the bass? I should say so...)
When I finished, I told her how much she owed me.
"HOW much????"
Worried by her reaction, I reeled off the usual about price of petrol, 3 years at college, etc., etc.
"Well, the last chap charged twice that."
DAMN!!
So, charged a fortune + didn't remove top door + Concert pitch? Wossat? + 20 minutes tops INCLUDING teabreak =
gone to live in Florida where the rest of the cowboys live.

Yours, living in a small cottage...

PianoGuy · Post by **PianoGuy** » 26 Sep 2007, 19:57

Gill the Piano wrote:
Yours, living in a small cottage...

It's always the cowboys who make money.

One tuner I know of charges a reasonable 50 quid for tuning, but always finds 'extras' that need to be done like hammer refacing (done with hammers in situ with 40 grade wet & dry on a housebrick); voicing (hammer faces afterwards look as if they've been nibbled by a rabid hamster) and always manages to stuff the poor punter up with a Dampp-Chaser or Hydroceel unit depending upon which fictitious climatic problem he has decided exists on that particular occasion. This bumps the price up to his more usual 200-250 quid.

Another has changed his name from something very English and ordinary to something poncey and Germanic-sounding in order to attract more clients. I'm not sure if he adopts a silly accent to match.

tuna · Post by **tuna** » 26 Sep 2007, 23:45

There is another tuner, not a million miles from me, who hails from Austria.

He tuned a piano quite recently, but when the pianist played it, she was very unhappy with the way the bass had been tuned.

She questioned the tuner about this, but he said people often queried the way he tuned the bass, but this could be explained by the fact he tunes with an Austrian ear!!!

What can I say?

Post by **Gill the Piano** » 27 Sep 2007, 15:36

One customer told me they once had a tuner who said that he must be left STRICTLY alone to tune, WITHOUT INTERRUPTION. Respectful of such evident atristic genius, they did as they were told. The tuning noises slowed down, with longer and longer pauses in between, until all that could be heard was the same dissonant chord being played over and over again very very softly. Plucking up their courage, they risked the Wrath of thge Tuner and tiptoed in...to see him passed out with his head resting on the keyboard (hence the chords) and an empty whisky bottle on the floor.
I'm a good girl me; weak black tea, no sugar.
Until I get home...

Tom Tuner · Post by **Tom Tuner** » 28 Sep 2007, 18:38

My favorite was my predecessor in tuning, at the home of the director of a government installation, who required everyone to leave the house before he would begin. I was able to make a fair guess what he had been up to or not up to in their absence.

Tom Tuner