I wrote my own piece! Critiques?

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persistantpiano
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I wrote my own piece! Critiques?

Post by persistantpiano » 12 Mar 2019, 14:59

Hey I just finished writing my first piano composition and I am really in need of some criticism and advice. You can check out my video at

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoEiITqs94c

Thanks!

chrisw
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Re: I wrote my own piece! Critiques?

Post by chrisw » 12 Mar 2019, 17:33

Well done for achieving something that I have not.

If I might comment on the first minute of music I wonder if you mean to include an accelerando, or am I hearing a quickening of tempo that is not there. Also in the first minute it seems to me that it would be worth really hearing what the left hand is doing and therefore would suggest playing right hand piano so that the left hand sings out.

Pianist685
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Re: I wrote my own piece! Critiques?

Post by Pianist685 » 12 Mar 2019, 17:37

Well done, PersistentPiano (yes, it is "persistent" and not "persistant", I have looked it up; please let me make the mistakes here since English is not my mother tongue), taking into account that this is your first composition. I particularly appreciate that you have written out the score. Most so-called composers are only improvising something and unable to write their music down. I would just like to mention three issues from my personal, subjective opinion. First, I find your video intro pretentious. Second, your piano needs tuning. Third, your composition does not have a melody, unlike Yiruma’s tunes. Your piece is just about arpeggios and “broken chords” (I am not sure whether that word exists in English, we say that in German). The key signature G-flat major (as far as I can see) is over-pretentious as well, considering the content of the composition. I would find it nicer with a more catchy melody. But all in all, well done.

Pianist685
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Re: I wrote my own piece! Critiques?

Post by Pianist685 » 12 Mar 2019, 17:42

... I meant "in" my opinion, not "from". So a post can no longer be edited and corrected once it has been submitted? I can do that on PianoWorld...

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Barrie Heaton
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Re: I wrote my own piece! Critiques?

Post by Barrie Heaton » 12 Mar 2019, 22:10

Nice I enjoyed it, would have been better if you had the piano tuned first. :piano;



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Phrasemaker
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Re: I wrote my own piece! Critiques?

Post by Phrasemaker » 17 Mar 2019, 14:07

Interesting piece and perhaps "Contemplating" is where listeners might find themselves. You have obviously chosen to write with an eastern feel in mind in terms of how the piece comes across.

I'm wondering if perhaps here and there an occasional recurring short passage/theme which is a little less abstract might add some contrast by being richer in melodic content.

There are parts where the piece comes across a bit random, that might be deliberate. I'd say you've been bold with this composition and not tried to pander to what might have been a more obvious pretty approach much like an artist working visually and always painting a cliché chocolate box kind of scene on every canvas.

Listeners like rewards and delivering those to a whole range of individuals is never going to be easy or we'd all be writing music which rapidly gains popularity.

For me it is mildly thought provoking, I would have liked to have connected with it more, perhaps that's my failing.

Regards

Tim

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