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I think it might have been someone like Barry Sheene, and pretending to play to a soundtrack. I tried googling it but nothing came up. Apart from two other old ads for Brut 33. The great smell of 'Enry Cooper. Splash it all over.

Now you mention it, I DO remember Barry Sheene in a Brut ad, so you could well be right...

It just came to me last night! Used to like the Woolies' christmas adverts too, such high budget choreographed festive ads for such a low end retailer, so quite paradoxical. Altogether now, Every-body needs Wool-worths!

Watching the finals of last years' Leeds Piano with my wife on DVD whilst I await delivery of my new broadband equipment, including a home hub. 0700 to 1800 they said. Eleven hours - each time I have to wait in for something or someone I always know how Samuel Beckett felt when he wrote Godot.

Well I hope they turn up in the time slot then - they've left themselves enough leeway!

They turned up alright, and the service has been activated but it's so sloooooooooooooooooooow it's impossible to work with. I've had to go back to my old connection to post these messages (around 2Mbps download) because it's impossible. New ISP informs me it won't reach its full speed (3.8 Mbps here) until around three days post-installation. They'll be getting a telephone call from me if my Internet is still unusable on Saturday lunchtime!

This posting has been made using my new connection. Wonder if the network will allow me to post it??

Ooo, I can tell; much shinier and squeaky clean!

Well, after 24 hours of being on, it's only slightly faster. And I can read bits on the Guardian website without having to wait it seems like forever... Ironically I cannot run a speed test on it as it's that slow the browser always goes to 'operation outtimed'.

Can't your thingy provider do something about the speed - or lack thereof?

Well, I spoke to a guy in Mumbai this morning who gave me some very useful advice, to move the router into the main telephone socket into the house. It was good to use technical terminology with someone and them know exactly what I mean. It brings out the geeky male in you but it seems to be working, the average speed is increasing and it's at a working speed, even though it took me one hour to upload a 36 second video of me playing the piano to Youtube!

I've heard some pretty stupid things in my time but I certainly would not expect it from Classic FM...until today. Jamie Crick asking turkeys aware of the upcoming December festival if they were enjoying the programme this afternoon. Now I've heard it all.

Happy St.Andrews Day Feg! There's a good Google front page to celebrate it, which will be a tremendous boost to the YES campaign there!

dave brum wrote:I've heard some pretty stupid things in my time but I certainly would not expect it from Classic FM...until today. Jamie Crick asking turkeys aware of the upcoming December festival if they were enjoying the programme this afternoon. Now I've heard it all.

I have a customer who always refers to it as Classics For Morons. And sometimes I can't help feeling he has a point. I like CFM, but HATE it when they only play one movement of a piece I really like...

Unfortunately, I HAVE to listen to it in the car if the other seats are not empty. I have no say in the matter, Gill. Either that or have to endure the manic lower-end braindead pap that's on 96.4 in this city. Those advertisements and news breaks on Classic FM drive me mad.

Just been looking through Gumtree, and a ticker comes on the screen: Success! IBRAHIM just sold something in WOMEN'S CLOTHING in Tower Hamlets. In my day, pitbulls were very fond of children.

Just a thought, isn't football sooooo overrated and, above all, intensely nauseatingly boring and shallow.

Football is unutterably mindless and boring, as is all sport. When I'm Queen there will be no televised sport at all. Unless Morris dancing is a sport. And dwile flunking.

What about televised Scrabble? Or tiddlywinks or even gurning?? Much less yobbish and capitalistic than twenty two overpaid chavs kicking an inflated pig's bladder around a field in the pouring rain, egged on by a violent crowd screaming (usually racist) abuse at them, wouldn't you agree??

This Internet is driving me crackers. I changed over from 3 (download speed of 2Mbps, limited data allowance, dongle) to BT (router, unlimited data, promised speed 2-3.5 Mbps, actual speed 0.01 Mbps). That's an impossibly and stupidly slow speed. I shall be on the telephone after work tomorrow...thankfully, they're usually quite helpful. It took me 45 minutes just to make one post on here just now, never had that with 3. The superfast Infinity is available round here, but it will cost me £7 more per month and I've only just made a carefully costed upgrade.

Internet update, 0.31 this morning, 1.34 just now. Fingers crossed

Interesting morning in my bookshop, which is 100 metres or so from where ABRSM exams are held. I went into a cafe whilst I was waiting for the keyholder to arrive this morning and there was a young girl in there with her father about to do her Grade 1 Piano. It was in my best interests to wish her good luck and hope she gets a Distinction. Then we get a floor standing chest in which to put our growing stock of sheet music, and amongst the seasonal stock that had been put out I come across 'The Oxford Book Of Christmas Cards'. Turns out it was carols not cards, perhaps you may have the book, Mrs. the Piano?

I certainly have; it's brilliant and I did in fact use it yesterday. Played for a little prayer group's carol service as their usual pianist has crocked her back. This group has the Most Dreadful merkin hymnbook with The Most Appalling Tunes in it. Therefore I was able to substitute Proper Choons for merkin ones. Unfortunately I wasn't able to remedy the fact that most of the carols had been ruthlessly pruned to 2 verses - even While Shepherds Washed!

It was only £2.99 and it looked quite an ancient book in goodish condition. I've never understood in these books why everything's in minims as they are in Ancient and Modern. To me, it's all in Treble Telugu.

Changing the subject for a minute, and in the random comment vein, my new cooker arrived this afternoon. It's going to take a while to get the hang of new-fangled terms like multi-function ovens and Power Boost hob, but I didn't burn tea

I am also awaiting the arrival of my new tuning lever all the way from the US of A. I know how to live the high life.

Your hob isn't by any chance an induction one by any chance Fiona, you have to throw away what you already have learned about hobs. We've had one since last February and I'm still burning porridge and spaghetti bolognese. We have a multi function oven as well and we only use three functions to date, fan, conventional (for baking bread) and moist fan (usually for reheating naans so they don't dry out).

I do, indeed, have an induction hob. I have purchased an AEG Maxiclasse freestanding cooker. Last night's tea was macaroni cheese and the pasta water had boiled in the time it took me to get the pasta out of the cupboard, get the scales out and weigh the pasta! Daughter was in charge of white sauce and reported that the hob was more controllable than our old ceramic one.

Today, daughter has another day off work to put the oven through its paces - she is the baker in the family.

We have AEG ovens but an Electrolux hob, both the same company I believe. We had an AEG German made twintub washing machine in the 50s and it lasted out till the 90s.

I'm a Great British bakeroffer too, well at least I try to be when I have the spare cash to buy ingredients. Got a nice Fish Pie to do this week with the aniseedy flavours of fennel seed and tarragon, my own recipe but based on a GBBO one. Last time however I didn't get it right because I underestimated the strength of dried tarragon. What does Caroline like to cook?

The main difference with induction is that I cannot leave things cooking for long periods of time because they burn. If the controls are set too low however the thing just doesn't cook. You have to start it off high to get the magnetism going, then gradually reduce the setting to get the right one. Another difference is if a pan is bubbling on a high setting, it doesn't necessarily mean the contents are anywhere near 100 degrees even though the base is burning. Water is the exception to that rule. Honestly, it's like learning to cook all over again from scratch. Wish we'd had halogen instead.

Didn't have those problems last night. White sauce is, of course, started on a low heat anyway and the pasta simmered rather nicely on setting 4.

Mind you, half my pans are not suitable for induction hobs so I am having to part with a full set of Circulon cookware. My other set has a ground base so are OK. Santa has brought me a brand new set of Circulon in advance of THE day so I can cook a fantastic feast

It's just the constant adjusting of the controls that's a pain in the neck. I reheated some baked beans for lunch, put them on 3 and they were stone cold for about ten minutes. I went upstairs to get changed out of my keep fit stuff and have a wee and they were suddenly red hot and almost sticking to the bottom, well they would have been if I'd have been 1 minute longer. If I'd had less time and put them on 5 or 7 they would be sticking to the bottom if I didn't stand over the pan stirring continuously. I cannot just gently get heat to penetrate the food like I could with gas halogen or electric.

Ah, that explains one of my hob settings. I have the facility to either Power Boost for quick boiling, or a setting which brings it up to the desired heat setting quickly. It shows as A on my control panel.

I remember reading about an 'A' setting in the brochure, but never use it and I've never had an opportunity of getting around to experimenting with it. I use the P setting but for anything more porous than water there is a risk of burning. The P setting makes my saucepans squeak as the magnetism is so intense.

Gill the Piano wrote:

Erm, Oxford Book of Carols, Gill?

I understand that, but...cooking???

Gill the Piano wrote:I understand that, but...cooking???

Don't you cook, Gill?

Daughter has officially passed the new cooker as fit for baking However, the chocolate fudge cake has yet to pass the taste test. Chocolate chip cupcakes baked earlier have been sampled and passed with Distinction!

I love cooking.

I suspect Fiona doesn't know about the sign you have over your (non-induction) cooker, Gill!

Induction hobs do not use heat to cook food but magnetism, which generate friction in the pan. But you need to use special induction-compatible cookware which usually has a plate on the base of each pan, and nothing glass or hard anodised whatsoever.

dave brum wrote:I suspect Fiona doesn't know about the sign you have over your (non-induction) cooker, Gill!

Induction hobs do not use heat to cook food but magnetism, which generate friction in the pan. But you need to use special induction-compatible cookware which usually has a plate on the base of each pan, and nothing glass or hard anodised whatsoever.

For those who don't know but care (a minimal number I'm sure) one sign says 'I understand cooking as a concept, just not as it applies to me' and t'other was liberated from a demolished hospital and says 'accidents' and is pointing at the cooker....

No Feg, I don't cook. Eric does all the cooking in our house, largely from his innate sense of self-preservation.

I appreciate the sentiments expressed by your signs, Gill.

I didn't always love cooking, it is a skill which I have learned to love. The bit I detest is the deciding what to cook bit. There are four of us to feed (I have two grown children at home) and I can't please everyone!

I don't understand your problem with an induction hob, Dave. So far I haven't burnt anything nor have I had to wait on food heating up. What I have discovered is not to change heat settings too quickly. Give it time to adjust to the new setting before changing either up or down.

I do all of the cooking in my house and I would have thought after eleven months I'd be used to induction but it seems not. One day I'll probably crack the knack with it...

Take a look on my Youtube channel for some fresh uploads Gill, including three clips of me playing an acoustic piano in a local community hall!

More problems with induction cookers, when the surface gets wet, the controls go crazy as the touch switches don't operate. You're trying to touch a ring off/on/down/up and nothing happens. Something boiled over by accident today and I just could not turn the magnetism off at all. Damn things.

Seven more uploads Gill, moving through the Piano Time now...and there's something Welsh on there now!!

I'm being forced to watch the silly football world cup draw against my will. I'm really unsure who to 'support', my country (United Kingdom) doesn't have a 'team'. Neutrality, I think, may the best team win

Can't you play your piano? Have you no headphones?

It's like the Arctic up there even with the heating on. Besides I'm a little worried about Teresa, something happened to her in work today and I'm very concerned.

Hope she's feeling better today. What does she do?
Re the piano - get yourself some fingerless gloves; perfect for playing in cold conditions!

It's a very situation at Teresa's place of work but it's been going on for most of 2013. I suppose fingerless gloves come in very handy for playing in Buckinghamshire's draughty old churches and chapels!

Did I read somewhere Gill you're a member of Mensa? I have a Mensa Mind Excercise DVD that I found at the shop, but because it came free with the Sunday Times we cannot by law sell it so I've taken it home. I wonder if shouting out answers at Eggheads counts as membership criteria these days??

dave brum wrote: I wonder if shouting out answers at Eggheads counts as membership criteria these days??

Ooo, I hope so; I do it most evenings, especially when the smug git CJ is on it...grrrrrr.....

Actually Chris Hughes is my favourite, not only does he hate sport (as does yours truly) the question setters always tend to ensure he gets questions on 50 Cent and Jay-Z, whom he calls Jay Zed.

...and whatever the question, the answer is always the Sugarbabes!

He has taken to uttering usual words and making them sound like violent expletives whenever somebody picks him to play the Sport category. But I think he's better at sport than he is with pop music, he's learned as he's gone along really.

That 1953 Oxford Book of Carols is still there in the shop, priced at £2.99. Someone's had the bright idea of putting all of our book donations on the theme of Nelson Mandela over the years in a corner and putting all of them out upon news of his death. I sold a book about his life yesterday. Now, I'm on the lookout for an easy play of Nkosi Sikelei Afrika to play and post to Youtube as my own tribute to NM (or maybe the Special AKA song, or possibly even the 'Only Fools and Horses' theme song which was set in Nelson Mandela House in 'Peckenham'.)

I also put out eight 'Peter and Jane' Ladybird childrens' books, but published more recently. But no sheet music or CDs - and we need 'em.