The problem is that they will want me to speak in Welsh and my conversational Welsh has taken a rapid nosedive and I can no longer use the language. My wife says I'm being a coward but the fact is that I have no use Welsh anymore. I never hear it spoken around me, am not allowed to watch Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol any more, Radio Cymru is dreadful round here....and things move on. One thing that stays in situ is the annual phone call.
They mean very well and am genuinely concerned for me at Christmas, but if I insist to them the conversation be conducted in English, then I may lose them as friends (they aren't 'British' at all, they're 'Cymreig').
I know no other Welsh speakers.
After all these years and reams of insight and knowledge, my piano practice is still a bl00dy chore.
I think 'Piano4Solihull' was right all along, why bother doing it if I don't enjoy it....but it is also not possible to MAKE yourself enjoy it? It has to be natural, or fostered - which has to be done as a child or young adult in the best case.
If only I was thirty years younger.......or had some sort of gratification that it is all worth all this effort?
Think I need to do something else. Morale just seems to be too low and I don't know what is keeping me going apart from determination and stoicism.
Maybe I should just concentrate on something that I am good at that doesn't induce such a high degree of anxiety - such as handbells or faraging round charity shops looking for premium classical jazz and world CDs.