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Between two pieces of pop music that ceased to be popular with communism in Russia, Dan and Lindsay, the two humanoids that oversee our daybreaks, were discussing how food prices will be affected by Britain's decision to leave the European Union. Followed by an informed culinary review of our current Frozen Meal Deal for £5, plus a good wine recommendation.
No, of course they weren't. They were idly and without any research done on the subject (maybe a quick glance in the Daily Sport) attempting to scrutinise His Royal Highness Prince Henry of Wales over his personal life.
The Constitution of the United Kingdom puts Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth I I as Head of State with her directly to descendants as Heirs to the Throne and ABOVE the political system of this country. Therefore, unlike elected ministers such as Theresa May, Jeremy Corbyn, Nicola Sturgeon, Members of Parliament, Governmental and non-Governmental organisations etc. who are subject to democratic scrutiny and accountability by the people, media etc. and rightly so, the Royal Family being above politics constitutionally, are wholly immune from scrutiny, any attempt as such would therefore count as a crime against the nation state. Or treason.
Dan and Lindsay, To the Tower with you! Or Belmarsh, whichever is closer. However, being the liberal that I am, maybe the pair of them should go on a UK Citizenship course where they may learn a little about our System of Government as a Monarchy, and how we operate as a nation state. They may also just get squeezed into their retarded intellects that it is against British constitutional protocol to hold the Royal Family to account. Or back to school anyway.
And I've not even heard 1890 featured on The Retro Years at 10am yet. Faure wrote his Requiem that year.
Sadly, they've stopped playing Charlemagne in recent weeks. I often swap the 'my Charlemagne' for 'my Kayleigh Jane' as in my bakery colleague. But at least they're still playing this one, yet again I've heard it on every single shift I've worked since the beginning of June:
Back in work tomorrow. Possibly Monday 7th for the Christmas music with a bit of luck. I say the first seasonal chav ditty I'll hear this year will be McCartney, simply had it, a wonderful Christmas time.
Then again, the following Monday after Remembrance might be a good bet also. In the meantime, I rather suspect that Jamiroquai were going cheap in the Performing Rights Society market place, which is why we're hearing a lot of their tracks, especially 'Canned Heat'. I never can understand that band, particularly their lead singer, one Jason Kay, whose first name is shortened to one syllable so he 'becomes' Jay Kay. What's even more mystifying is the blindingly obvious American accent in his singing voice, when his speaking voice is blindingly obvious Essex.
But look for the roses in the weeds. We also had The Divine Comedy, aka Neil Hannon whom is the son of an Anglican priest from Derry and is responsible for the Father Ted theme.
'Love Train' by the Ojays is another ditty that suffers from chronic overplayment, as does 'Radio GaGa' by Queen. If they want to play Queen, why don't they play God Save The Queen?
We had Bruce Springsteen - one of music's biggest Democrat supporters, followed around half an hour later by Cher, likewise for the Republicans.
Then when the result became clear of Herr Drumpf's victory (yes, his family are German immigrants), along came 'He's Misstra Know It All' by Stevie Wonder. Do not abandon hope for this audiophonic organ yet. Still no Christmas songs.
Asda FM is another matter entirely....
We do have Christmas songs at work, we shall eagerly await them. Any day now. If they played 'All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth' every day there would be too many members of staff in stitches.
Still no Christmas songs with less than one month to go to the 25th December. Yet again, when the computers' pound shop sensor module finally detects that it is the season for some Jona Lewie and The Waitresses, it'll be the 3rd of January.
Perhaps the lobotomy twins are very slow readers and it's taken them this long to read about the supermoon? We had too much cloud to see it. I'll have to wait another 48 years or whatever.
Of course, the best option would be silence, as is the protocol in Waitrose. We don't all like chavvish Anglo-American commercial pop, neither do we all like classical jazz and world as I do.
Not tight enough for the usual diet of overplayed stuff. We're getting a lot of plays of 'All Right' by Liverpudlian Britpop band Cast and lately, the latest addition to the 'click this toggle box for a daily play at £7.99 per play' is Too Late by Van Morrison, released way after the heyday of the Irish bluesman.
Sounds incredibly dystopian.....of course, it really is common sense to all of us that some of us like Bach, some of us like the Beatles, some bhangra and some Bieber, and you will never be all things to all people. Co-Op Radio NEVER plays the songs I love, full stop.
When you're sat at home having a nap or trying to cook a meal, and some scruffily dressed herbert in a tabard bearing the name of a charitable organisation bangs on your door and goes into full sales pitch about how such and such an organisation needs your money, wants your money etc. these herbert's, or the tactics they employ to extort, are unrepresentative of the charity they like to kid you into thinking they represent. They do not work for Save the Children, Cancer Research UK, Help for Heroes etc. They work for professional middlemen, or agencies to you and me. And it's exactly the same with Co-op Radio. It is absolutely nothing to do with the business, rather it is produced cheaply and shoddily by an outsider sitting at a computer with no idea how to program it.
Indeed. This week's 2005/1985 'Retro Years' balls up was a case in point, and Lindsey Lobotomy introducing the Bee Gees and giving us U2.
We also heard what I presume was a new (by Co-Op Radio standards; i.e from earlier in 2016) tune by Status Quo, which was in the correct place to be aired, at least.
...and as a footnote, I've been trying to google search for a song that their politburo thinks we should hear every day, it goes something like: 'deedle, de-deedle, de-deedle, and changes. Deedle, de deedle, and changes, took ages'. I think it sounds like a cross between 'We Are Each Other' by Beautiful South and 'Wings' 'Helen Wheels'.
Traced that mysterious song that sounds like Helen Wheels. It is called Mother by Jerry Williams, who is a teenage singer songwriter from Hampshire, apparently.
I think I may be turning into Petroc Trelawny who, yesterday morning described the Bouree from Praetorius' Dances from Terpsichore as 'like a fly in a jam jar'. Carols tomorrow morning at 8, Co-op Radio can stick their cheap robot-generated repetitive garb up Rudolphs red nose.
Talking of which, questions must now move towards how long after Christmas Day and in to 2017 we'll still be getting Christmas songs. Robots after all do not have a sense of time and space, and Mood Media (who are responsible for Co-op Radio) cannot be expected to pay somebody to go out in the holidays and reprogram the robot and tell it Christmas is over now, as their emphasis is on doing everything on the cheap.
Silence would save even more money.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/2 ... complaints
and also (with advance warnings that this link is to a Conservative Party-supporting newspaper):
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/musi ... otest.html
being able to please all people with whatever they choose to broadcast. The unsigned artist policy would probably fit into the ethos of the Co-op Movement, i.e promoting the underdog and if they played solely unsigned artists then I'm sure John Peel can rest in his grave okay and they would move a notch or two away from crass garbage. But would the tabloid press pick up on it, bearing in mind the fact they, as Conservatives, are out to discredit us BBC-style as we are, of course, founded upon socialist principles?
I still say silence would really be golden here....muzak free shopping like Waitrose.
I do believe the John Newman song Olé, that has been played every single day since my first day at work back in early June has now gone out of the play list as I haven't heard it so far this month. It has therefore only taken them six months to totally reconfigure their play list. I'm missing the Beverly Knight one Meet Me In the Middle.
We also had some active annoying of a certain Paul Nuttall with acknowledgement of climate change and global warming by Dan and Lindsay whilst nattering about why we don't have white Christmases any more in Britain. Have they never been to the Cairngorms?
And the Darkness Christmas hit from 2003, which includes a subtle so-called knob gag....